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TWBH: Hell Hath No Fury

Title: Tales of a Would-be Hostage
Chapter: 13/16
Author: thefalloficarus @ LJ.com
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters (except Marisol); I just like to play with them. Joss is Boss though, and don't you forget it! ;)
Rating: PG-13/Rish (Sexual situations, nothing too explicit thought)
Characters: This chapter: The Whole Group pretty much
Pairing: Mal/River, Simon/Kaylee
Chapter List:
Prologue: The younger years - Chapter 2: Reunion - Chapter 3: Destiny in the Making - Chapter 4 A Man on the Edge: - Chapter 5: Realizations - Chapter 6: The dangerous one - Chapter 7: Trouble on the Horizon - Chapter 8: The Point of Danger - Chapter 9: Sudden Yet Inevitable Betrayal - Chapter 10: Out of Gas - Chapter 11: 9/10ths of the Law - Chapter 12: A Little Bit of Girl Talk - Chapter 13: Hell Hath no Fury - Chapter 14: Big Damn Chapter - Chapter 15: Moonbrained Star Girl - Epilogue: A Would-be Hostage and a Sometimes Theif

Note: Scroll over the words in Chinese for their definition (Thank you so much to luxuria_oceanus for teaching me that trick.) And as always Comments are Shiny and make me happy (and let me know people are actually reading and enjoying. Lol)


River stroked Mal's smooth chest as they lay in bed together. It had been almost a week since their first kiss and they had spent a night apart since. Kaylee had proved a fantastic ally, and kept Simon distracted whenever he tried to search for River or check on her. River appreciated the help, but at the same time she envied Kaylee, and her budding romance with Simon. She looked at Mal, and moved a hand to his cheek, "You've been restless." River stated, tilting her chin up and looking at him.

"And you've been a mite more spry." Mal said, gently kissing her forehead.

"We'll reach Miranda tomorrow."

"I know." Mal replied.

"She'll make it there." River said assuredly.

"I know little Albatross. This old girl ain't never said die before, she ain't gonna now."

They were silent a moment, each taking the moment to ponder what exactly would happen if Serenity were to run out of fuel before they reached their destination. Finally, River broke the silence. "I've decided we'll turn ourselves in."

"What?" Mal asked, coming out of his own thoughts.

"After we refuel, Simon, Kaylee and I will fly back with you for a few days and then we'll take the shuttle and you fly off in the opposite direction. We'll hail the Alliance and turn ourselves in."

"River, no." Mal said, sitting up and looking down on her. "You can't just turn yourselves in."

"Mal." River said with a sigh. "I can't stay here either. Being with you has been... well... parts not so good, and others incredible." She reached up and touched his cheek tenderly. "But we're still from two different worlds, and I can't just keep avoiding mine."

Mal shook his head. "River, your world wants to arrest you."

"For crimes I didn't comment." She retorted.

"That's exactly the point!"

"Listen, Mal, I have a plan. When they arrest me I'll sing: I'll tell them everything they want to know; names, dates, ship type..." She noticed the deep frown forming on his face, leaned forward, and kissed him. "And how we bravely risked our lives killing our captors and escaping."

"What?" Mal asked confused.

"I'm sure you've got some space pirating friends that have recently met with an untimely end, right?" River asked. "I mean the 'verse isn't exactly the safest place."

"Well... I suppose."

"And seeing as how I don't even know your last name, and being a hostage is ever so stressful." She said innocently. "I don't think it'll be that much of a lie if I mix up the names a bit."

"I see." Mal said, still looking doubtful.

"And I can tell them all about how they took us and refused to let us go." She said wrapping an arm around his bare back. "And then," She said, a mischievous smile spread across her lips as her other hand caressed his chest slipping downward, "I can tell them how they tortured me." With that her hand slipped over his breeches, feeling him already hard." An expression of mock surprise crossed her face then.

Mal chuckled nervously. "You're..a...you're really...a...moving lately."

River smiled, "Well, Simon said that now that the sling is off I have to start working out the muscles and regaining my strength." She moved her hand now, massaging gently.

Mal closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Mmmm...I see."

"Anyway, you've interrupted me, I was telling you, how I'd tell them we were tortured." She said reaching up to his waistband, slipping a finger between the fabric and his hot flesh.

Mal sucked in a quick breath, and nodded. "Mmm... they say a little torture is good for the soul." He lowered himself next to her on the bed then, and she leaned in and kissed him, hard and passionately.

He returned the kiss sliding his hand up her back ending at her neck, cradling her head. When they broke apart he looked at her, lust, and sadness in his eyes. "You don't have to leave bao bai."

"Shhh..." River said, sliding a hand up his toned body, caressing his lips and beckoning them to be silent. "Don't spoil the moment."

Mal sighed, nuzzling her neck and kissing it lightly, but did not say another word for the remainder of the night.

Mal stood at the galley table, looking down at his crew. River was in the cargo bay relaying her plan to her crew, as they'd agreed, and they were to meet back at the spare shuttle for one last moment together before Miranda. It had been growing increasingly hard for him since the moment they'd first kissed. Every time he saw her he wanted to touch her, smell and taste her, to satisfy all the sensual urges.

Shaking his head he cleared his thoughts and smiled down at Zoe who was looking right as rain again. "Ms. Tam and I have spoken and devised a plan that will hopefully be beneficial for us all." He began, looking pointedly at Wash, already knowing the pilot's concerns.

"We have decided to refuel on the planet below, and then head back the way we came. This will steer us clear of any potential threat beyond the planet."

"But I thought the Alliance were back the way we came?" Marisol questioned.

"Correct you are Mari." Mal said. "This is why in exactly 3 days time the Tam crew will launch one of our shuttles and begin hailing the Alliance, giving us time to make off in the other direction."

Inara quirked a brow then, "I thought they didn't want to turn themselves in?"

"Mal nodded, "Well, now that Ms. Tam's on the mend she and her crew are going to turn themselves in. We've also discussed how the crew will turn in Old Mordicai Bruce."

"Sir?" Zoe asked, piping in for the first time. "Didn't Mordi fall in with the recently deceased crowd not too long ago?"

"Right you are Zoe." Mal nodded, hitching his thumbs on his belt. "Which is why Ms. Tam's turning him in. Gonna say they killed him and escaped. Takes the heat off us, and can't hurt ol' Bruce."

Wash shifted but remained silent, and Mal took that as acquiescence to the plan.

"Right." Mal said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them back and forth. We should be landing soon, so Wash why don't you take your place, Bester see that she stays together while we land, and Mari, Zoe, 'nara why don't you three prepare for landing, I'm going to go notify the other crew that we'll be arriving shortly."

Everyone got up silently and Mal made a beeline out the door. Inara followed, knowing that if he asked her where she was going she could always say her own shuttle or that she needed to speak with him. Keeping several paces behind, she watched him slip into the shuttle opposite her own, and slowly followed until she reached the door.


"How'd they take the news?" Mal asked putting his hands on River's shoulders.

River turned then looking up at Mal and shook her head. "They're a little nervous, but they're excited to get home."

"And you?" Mal asked.

River sighed. "You already know how I feel." She said and then rose up on tiptoes and kissed him.


Inara watched as her Captain embraced their hostage, her hands shaking. She felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of her and have been replaced by something heavy that stopped her from breathing. She wanted to cry out, scream, throw something at the pair, but instead she turned, walking away from the horrific sight. Before she knew what she was doing she found herself back in the Galley, where Marisol, Kaylee and Simon all sat waiting to land.

Inara seated herself and smiled, knowing immediately what to do. "So, you're finally getting home?"

Simon nodded, looking up from the book in his hands. "It looks to be so."

Inara smiled again and nodded. "You must be excited."

Kaylee laughed then, "Well, I wouldn't say no ta somethin' edible that doesn't involve protein."

Inara laughed at the comment and shook her head. "I know, poor River must be heartbroken though."

"Oh?" Simon said, looking up curiously.

"I wouldn't say that." Kaylee replied nervously.

"Really? It just seems like she and the Captain had developed quite a relationship." Inara said nonchalantly.

Simon shook his head, "Well there's no accounting for my sister's taste sometimes."

"Exactly." Kaylee said, patting Simon's arm.

Inara laughed at Simon's joke and then quirked a delicate brow, "I take it all her boyfriend's are a little low brow?" She asked, as if they were talking conspiratorially about an old friend.

"What?" Simon asked, his eyes popping.

"She means boys who are friends, don'tcha?" Kaylee said covering, glancing at Inara pleadingly.

"Oh? I'm sorry." Inara said innocently. "Was it a secret?"

As if on cue River stepped into the galley, a smile on her face, talking animatedly to Mal. Both stopped though upon entering the room, catching the distinctly chilly vibe.

"Is it true?" Simon said, teeth clenched.

River looked from Inara's smug face back to her brother, and connected the dots. "Simon." She said calmly. "I don't owe you an explanation. I'm an adult." She said calmly and rationally.

"Is. It. True?" Simon said annunciating each word.

River just sighed, as if dealing with a petulant child. "Is what true?"

Simon rolled his eyes, "Have you been… cavorting with… with... him?" He asked, his face growing beet red.

"Yes Simon, I have," River admittedly calmly, her tone holding no guilt or shame.

Simon stood, hands clenched in fists. River had never seen her brother that angry before and wasn't completely sure what he was up to. Kaylee reached out for his hand. "Simon…" She began, but he cut her off by shaking her hand from his.

"I need to go for a walk." He stated through gritted teeth.

River and Mal moved to the side to let him pass, both still leery of him. Just as he was almost out the door he turning, whirling on Mal, and swung, catching Mal square in the jaw.

"Son of a..." Mal growled

"How dare you touch my sister!" Simon shouted, kicking Mal in the shin.

"Simon!" River called, grabbing her brother's should to pull him back, only to be pushed carefully, yet forcefully away.

Mal took the moment to regain his composure, and when Simon swung again, he was ready for it, blocking the blow. Simon growled angrily and howled. "How dare you! You take us hostage after we help you, you almost kill her and then you dare to touch her!" He threw wild punches at Mal, catching him once in the ribs, but generally being blocked. Finally, with the assistance from Kaylee and Marisol, River was able to pull her brother off of her lover, and in that moment he looked at her venomously and then stomped out of the room.

"I'll go after him." Kaylee said, looking worriedly at River.

River nodded, watching Kaylee go and then turned to Mal. He leaned against the doorframe, a little breathless with an increasing fat lip. She turn then, spotting Inara who was looking rather stunned from her chair at the table. "Well," She snarled. "I hope you're happy with yourself," before turning her back on the woman. With that she walked over to Mal and gently took his chin in her hand, examining his face. "Come on, let's get you to the med bay."

When they were down in the Infirmary with the door tightly shut River shook her head. Silently she pulled out the scanner, and turned on the viewing screen. "Take your shirt off." She ordered.

"Well now Albatross, if I'da known you'd be so forward once we were outted I reckon I'da told your brother myself last week." He commented with a cocky grin while he unbuttoned his shirt.

River sighed and began scanning for broken ribs, refusing to rise to the challenge. "I don't see anything broken." She stated finally.

"Naa.." Mal said, "Your brother hits like a girl."

River chuckled then, "Tell that to your lip." She said putting the scanner away and taking out an icepack for his swollen and split lip. She pulled up a stool and sat in front of him, dabbing at his lip with a cloth, cleaning it. "Mal?" She asked after a minute. "Why didn't you hit Simon back? You could have, when I pulled him back the first time, you just blocked him instead… why?"

Mal, squirmed under her care, thinking for a moment. "Well, I figured, I'd already hurt him more than he deserved. It was only right for him to get a little bit even."

She stilled herself watching him for a moment and then leaned forward, kissing his softly. "You're a good man Mal."

"No I ain't," He said, reaching up and stroking her cheek. "You just don't know any better."

The door opened behind them and Kaylee cleared her throat. "River, Simon said he'll talk to ya now if ya want."

River nodded her head then and looked back at Mal. "You okay?"

"I'll be fine." He said, taking the ice pack from her and applying it to his lip.

River turned then and let Kaylee lead her to Simon's room. She knocked tentatively and Kaylee mouthed 'good luck' before parting. After a moment of silence, River pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Simon was seated on the bed starring at his hands silently. As River closed the door behind her he didn't even look up.

"That was quiet the tantrum." River stated. When Simon didn't respond she sighed and sat next to him. "You have 5 seconds to tell me what's wrong or I will not speak to you again until we're back with the Alliance." River stated. "And you know I can do it." She waited a moment and then began counting. "One…two…three… four…"

"He almost got you killed." Simon burst. "He took us captive, took us from our lives. We might not have homes to go back to." Simon said finally turning to River, tears brimming in his eyes. "He took all that away, and he almost took you, and just when I thought he hadn't…."

River's heart melted at that and she closed her arms around her brother's shoulder. "Simon." She cooed. "I will never leave you." She kissed his hair, "You're my other half Simon, the yin to my yang." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I swear no matter where life takes us, it will always be River and Simon first and foremost."

Simon leaned back and wiped at unshed tears. "I love you mei mei."

"I love you too ge ge" She said, smiling at him.

"That man's not good enough for you." Simon said protectively.

"He's a better man than you think." River said, nodding her head. "And you have to trust me."

Simon scowled then, "Maybe, but I don't have to like him." He sulked, causing River to laugh.

"Yes, but your unbroken face should at least be a little nicer to him." She said touching his cheek.

"So it wasn't my amazing fighting skills?" He asked looking up at her then.

"Nope." River said, kissing him on the cheek.

Simon sighed. "The next few days aren't going to be easy, are they?" Simon asked, and as if Serenity herself had heard him, a voice filled the ship over the comm system.

"Everyone strap in, it looks like it's going to be a bumpy ride!"


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 2nd, 2007 08:52 am (UTC)
Ooh... Inara's a little bitch once again. I love it.

And yay! Simon punched Mal. I love stories where Simon punches Mal. They make me laugh. I don't know why I love Simon hitting Mal so much, I just do.

But, aww... Mal is a good man, even if he doesn't see it.

And ooh... The plan is gonna kill me... Gah.
May. 2nd, 2007 11:49 am (UTC)
Well, that...could've ended worse. At least Simon accepted them without *too* much of a fuss. But is it mean of me to want Inara to take a long walk out a short airlock? "Hell hath no fury," indeed.

I like the way River's mind works, even if she's not crazy in this. She'd better not be leaving for too long, though. Let's just hope the Alliance doesn't dig too deep. Would I be correct in assuming they'll be receiving a commission resignation in the near future?
May. 23rd, 2007 01:27 pm (UTC)
"How dare you touch my sister!" Simon shouted, kicking Mal in the shin.

Oh my God, Simon is such a girl. *g*

Any updates in the near future? Pretty please?
May. 23rd, 2007 11:58 pm (UTC)
I've actually got 14 and most of 15 written lol. I just figured I'm such a slow poke that I'll just put the last 3 up at once. They should be up within a week! Glad you're liking it so far!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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